You go on Instagram and all you see is relationship goals here and there and people showing each other so much love ( or at least their pictures and captions say they do) and I begin to ask my self if I’ll ever be capable of such love, if I would ever be capable of loving another person so unconditionally, so consistently, so fully and so unrelenting! If I would ever be able to forgive them of all their wrongs and misgivings, ever look at their flaws and accept it all; a person I do not share blood with, a person I may never have known all my life…..fear creeps in, and I begin to wonder how possible marriage will be for me….
But then I’m reminded of just how much I’m able to love God, how much I hold on, how much I persevere and struggle to live the kind of life that will please Him. Even when I don’t get what I have been praying for, I get angry and I question Him ( yes, contrary to popular belief you can actually ask God why), when I get pissed at Him for not giving me what I asked for and we go through that cycle of disappointment, acceptance and finally gratitude. Those times when I don’t feel like praying, or going to church, or preaching; those times I Intentionally ignore the convictions of the Holy Spirit and those times I just want to hate everyone around me!!!
But then I remember my journey and my relationship with God, how I went from not knowing Him, to falling completely and hopefully in love with Him, I am comforted with that. With just knowing that at the right time, I will fall completely and unconditionally in love with the person that God is preparing for me. Just knowing that God knows me fully, He knows my past, my present and my future, He knows all the changes I will go through and the person best suited to be with me. He knows that however I change, my change will complement the change that my future spouse would have also gone through and that our flaws, our good parts; our mysteries, our problems, challenges and every other thing in life will complement each other.
Prayer: Dear God, let me always be alarmed at the magnitude of your love for me, remind me constantly of all that you have done for me and all that you have promised to do for me…
“Even when God says “no”, it is coated with so much love and goodness” (realtalkkim)
Graced for a Purpose 